#RelationshipGoals : Me & Candy

"For the first ten years of my life I think the only clear thought I had was "get candy."

-Jerry Seinfeld

I want to start by telling you that I have been publicly shamed for eating too much candy. A friend of mine had a candy dish home, and as a young child I did not understand that candy dish candy was not really meant to be eaten or enjoyed. It is simply part of the decor, a small player in the overall ambiance of a room. 

This candy dish family had a jewelry, candle or some other pyramid scheme party and the mother exclaimed in front of several children and parents that they "cannot have candy out around Audrey." 

I am fine now. I have grown to accept that as an 8 year old, there was no way for me to know I was not supposed to eat 8 Hershey’s Hugs from the crystal canister. But this did affect my candy self-esteem and relationship with sweet treats for years to come. 

Today, I manage my relationship with candy. I rarely make specific trips to buy candy, unless heading to a movie. ("I only smoke when I drink.") I can go ham if it's in front of me, but I don't buy with the intention of going ham. There was a time in my life where I always had Gobstoppers on deck and peanut butter M&Ms were the lining of my purse. I once broke every Butterfinger at Sports Authority in half when my mom told me I couldn't get one. 

I still favor toffee related candies, caramel situations, and anything with sea salt. On road trips I like Skittles or other fruity candies. 

My mom liked Red Hots and I would pretend I did too. My brother could eat Warheads by the dozen and not flinch, but I would put them under the faucet until all the sour was gone. Ben Franklin's Craft store was a religious experience. I can still feel the weight of the plastic bag full of candy in my hand. 

There is no better feeling than the weight of a bulk of candy. It feels similar to holding a newborn child or an infant chimp. There is no better pain than the pain a Sour Patch Kids binge leaves on your tongue. There is no worse sound than the final Milk Dud knocking around the box. I've seen films for only the candy and I've gone to birthday parties for only the loot bag. I've given extra points on teacher evaluations because they gave out boxes of Nerds. I've taken away points because they gave out Tootsie Rolls. I'm a flawed person. Candy was my first drug and I'm ready to talk about it. 

Audrey Hasse aka “Auddawg” loves reality TV and she always dresses really cool. Follow her on Twitter for her thoughts on life, love, and the pursuit of Marc by Marc Jacobs. For Halloween she is going to be a glamorous Ram and she’s going to look great!! Shop her candy picks below: